The Office Faux Pas

 

I’ve worked with executives and professionals in many companies on protocol and business etiquette. I have heard first hand of stories ranging from the senior manager who began eating directly from the serving trays at the buffet table to someone who applied his deodorant stick during a meeting. Some of these examples may show a lack of self-awareness. You probably don't mean to blunder — but you don't know any better. So acknowledge that, chances are, you may be making business etiquette mistakes that you'd want to correct if only you knew about them. How do you find out? Well one way is to ask for feedback. I receive tons of questions either through email or during my sessions on all areas of business etiquette. I thought I’d share with you some choice ones I have recently received. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Q: I just started working at this company. I was using the men’s room when the CEO walked in to use the facilities himself. I wasn’t sure what to do or how to act?

A: The first rule of the men’s room is let others (CEO or no CEO) handle their business in peace. The men’s room ideally should be a place of respite from the madding world outside of the office. So avoid lengthy conversations on the sales meeting figures or the colour of Dan’s new tie. A cursory nod, acknowledgement or brief greeting will suffice. You should let the CEO finish his pit stop and say a quick good morning while you are both washing hands. You do wash your hands afterwards don’t you!

Q: Derek, I am going for a business meeting with a potential client at a Chinese restaurant and I have no idea how to use chops sticks. Help!

Ken

A: Don’t panic Ken, even though they do say when in Rome do as the Romans do. Most Chinese restaurants will give you conventional silverware to use and it’s better to stick with what you know than to struggle picking one grain of rice at a time. Do yourself a favour however and practice on your own and impress your client next time with your chop stick dexterity.

Q: Hi, I am a senior manager for this multinational company and the bosses from the head office in Europe were visiting. In the process of hugging and pecking as I was greeting them, my lipstick rubbed off on the Vice President’s collar just before he was going in to the meeting. I was mortified – what should I have done? Anne

A: Well, in the first place I would have avoided kissing as a way of greeting. The approved skin on skin contact in a professional setting is the handshake. If you know that Hans will insist on pecks then prepare in advance and either don’t wear lipstick that day or blot it off before you meet him. Either that or hang out with society types and learn the art of air kissing. Lipstick is made up of pigments, oils, waxes, and emollients meaning it is infernally difficult to remove without resorting to removing the shirt and washing it or using other products. This I presume being impossible under the circumstances, I would have apologised profusely to Hans and made arrangements then and there to buy or procure him another shirt.

Q: When I go out for a meeting in the morning hours there is this client who insists on buying me alcohol. Is it appropriate to accept or should I politely decline?

A: I think you know the answer to this one; I’m not sure in which business culture it is considered kosher to start drinking in the morning, certainly not here in Kenya. You can come up with any number of excuses for why you don’t drink alcohol and this will not make you any less of a man. Just be unfailingly polite.

Q: My boss and I had gone to a client’s office to make a business presentation. As he began speaking I noticed his zipper was wide open. I decided not to say anything in front of the client. Was this the right thing to do? Njeri

A: This is a tough one Njeri – good business etiquette dictates that it is a mistake to not say anything. But you also don’t want to embarrass him in public. Depending on how long he is speaking for, I’d advise that you tell him very quietly as soon as he sits down or even slip him a note. The cost of not telling could be high if it appears that you knew and kept quiet. If you're embarrassed, get someone else to do it. The trick here is to save him from embarrassment in front of the client and to limit his exposure.

 

The business of alcohol

 

I’ll be the first to admit that a little booze in the system makes for an honest, wittier, more stimulating conversation but in business take your cues from your company culture and the behaviour of your co-workers. Observe if successful people you work with drink at company events or how much they drink.  If you do not drink for personal, religious or philosophical reasons, there is no need to. Neither should you feel the need to offer any explanation, if someone asks you why you are not drinking alcohol, you can respond with "I much prefer this right now." Then move the conversation onto another topic. When you are not sure if the other people will be drinking, play it safe and order something non-alcoholic.  

When unwinding with co-workers or fellow professionals it’s okay to have few drinks to loosen up or relax and not seem prudish especially in a party type setting.   Everyone’s body chemistry is different but do know your limits, when to say enough is enough, when to call it a night and go home. Consider the effects of drinking too much on your relationships with your co-workers, your professional reputation, the office gossip mill, and your own view of yourself. 

Maybe the only thing worse than making a drunken fool of yourself with your co-workers or professional peers is showing up late to work the next day (or not at all), clearly hung over and unable to function. Not only will you be seen as irresponsible, you may be costing your company and clients a lot of money. One way to avoid this is once you make your drink decision for the night, stick to that poison all night. Bouncing all over the place from vodka to gin to whisky to beer to wine only leads to trouble and a leaden head the next day.  Another important thing to remember is that as you get older, your recovery time takes longer. Things I could do at 22 I cannot do at 32, like shots. Shots to me are always a turning point in the evening between relaxed fun and things rapidly going downhill. So save the tequila shots for when you are on holiday with your best friends and not with your co-workers.

Ideally when you are entertaining a client, you shouldn’t drink or you should limit yourself to only one drink if they are going to have a drink. If they do not order an alcoholic beverage, you probably shouldn’t either. Realize that you are on show as a representative for your company. Remember its one thing to celebrate great work together in the appropriate setting, quite another to have regular liquid lunches with potential or existing clients. Alcohol loosens our inhibitions so be aware of drinking and hitting on co-workers or clients or getting over amorous with them. Sure it sounds obvious, but it happens all the time and a move on the wrong person could be potentially fatal to you and your career. So avoid setting yourself up by having too many drinks.

Another good rule to employ is to say to yourself, “I’ll have one less.” Instead of the usual, “Let’s have one more,” just say to yourself “I’m going to have one less.” It’s a good rule of thumb. Don’t be that person closing the party at 4am in the morning when the cleaners are coming in. And if you hear the words open bar – go against the grain and start off with juice or a soft drink rather than join the scrum for the free Heineken. Delaying the inevitable as long as possible will help you drink less.

 “Leta Tusker mbili” should not be your mantra at every cocktail, business lunch, networking event or even after a round of golf – you know there are other more sophisticated choices out there. How you present yourself outside the office is just as important as it is at work. What you order can say a lot about you. This is especially for the new hires and upcoming professionals, your take on alcohol should change now that you are no longer in college and a steady pay check and adulthood has opened up a whole new world.  I’d strongly recommend that you take the time to educate yourself in the world of wines.  Wine is the go-to-choice for having alcohol at a business or company event.

So be smart, drink responsibly, and remember that while you may like your co-workers, they aren’t your friends from college and are less reliable to carry your drunken self back to the car or call you a cab nor should they be. Cheers!