The new constitution, Article 1: Thou shalt keep time

1. Being on time is late – being early is on time.
2. Despite your title you are not that important – respect other people's time we all have the same amount of time whether you are bottom of the food chain or a billionaire (reference President Paul Kagame)
3. Traffic is NO excuse to be late. Do what you have to do - get up 2 hours early, spend the night in town, move house, I ask you if you had to pick up a payment of Ksh 1 million would you let traffic hold you up?
4. Honour people by starting meetings on time.
5. If you walk in late to a meeting just say “Hello, keep going, I'll catch up.” You are the one who's late; don't inconvenience others to have to listen to you being given a recap of what has been covered so far.
6. If you don't have time to do something just say ‘no’ – no-one will think any worse of you.
7. Don’t just pop in to the event and say hi and duck out – create time to stay and network.
8. The time keeper at the wedding gets an F. Time management at weddings has GOT to change.
9. No matter how well you know your friends don’t take them for granted if you’ve set a time for the movie/dinner/lunch-date/cocktail/drink/tee-time/kick-off/out of town trip/ride to town – please respect them but no need to show up an hour early for that bash neither.
10. If you run a business and you say your opening hours are 10.00am – 5.00pm please scrupulously respect that and remember customers have a choice.
11. If you are putting an event or conference together don’t indicate a starting time of an hour early to give an allowance of 1 hour for late comers. Stick to your guns even if the room is empty (again reference Paul Kagame)
12. Myth buster – there is no such thing as African or Kenyan timing there is only poor manners.

Surviving the airport with your best foot forward

Ok so this is not JKIA


I’ve been travelling quite a bit lately for work and I’d like to share with you some travel tips if flying from JKIA to make your next business trip (or pleasure) less stressful and more enjoyable not only for you but for your fellow passengers. For the security check leave your coins in the car, put your keys in the your hand luggage, wear shoes that are easy to take off and put on, take your belt off and put it in your carry-on luggage before you get to the airport, limit the amount of jewellery you wear, and guys please make sure your socks have no holes really! Retrieve your items from the scanner and move to the side to replace your shoes, belt etc and allow others to do the same otherwise that area becomes like a cattle herding pen. To avoid ruining the back of your shoes did you know you can use your belt as a shoe horn? Don’t forget to print out and carry your ticket info to give to the security guy before you check in and please, please carry your own pen for filling out those immigration forms instead of begging from other passengers who are busy trying to figure what to write down what date their passport expires ( I never remember mine).

When dressing for flying you want to strike a delicate balance between comfort (especially if it’s a long-haul flight) and maintaining a good image. Pyjamas, track suits, flip flops, six inch heels, even shorts are a no-no in my book. Perception does matter and dressing slightly better usually makes for quicker and better service all round. You don’t have to dress like you’re going to a board meeting or a night out on the town but don’t rock up looking like you’ve just jumped out of bed and ran down to the kiosk to get some milk. If I’m travelling for business especially I find wearing one of my jackets has two positives it saves it getting creased in my luggage and ups my authority and influence. Also if my luggage goes walk-about I am wearing clothes that I can still wear to my meeting. If it’s a short business trip for women then you probably have to dress ready to go to your meeting when you land otherwise a good pair of pants or jeans with a top and a sweater for when it gets chilly on the plane usually works in fact think about layering. I love this quote from David Sedaris “Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you've come to mow its lawns.” Finally try not to bathe in perfume or cologne before a flight – you’ll be in close proximity with other people for a sustained period of time and it could irritate others but by the same token please do try to be the freshest you can be for the same reasons – enough said!

Flying is not only stressful for travellers but for airport and airline staff as well so don’t be rude or aggressive. A smile and a kind word, a genuine thank you, use of names works wonders, believe me – and don’t even think about slipping someone a 1000 shilling note for expedited service, airline upgrade, extra baggage allowance etc...not in this day and age. I always carry a book or magazine or two because certain local airlines (no names mentioned) are notorious for delays and you can only people watch up to a certain point. Also grab a bite to eat before you get to JKIA if you know you might spend some time waiting for your flight – I think the food is way overpriced at the places there.

On the plane I’ve seen this umpteen times where there is a problem with someone’s seat number and they refuse to budge or end up in an arguing match with the flight attendant. We’re human, mistakes happen, step aside where you’re not in the way and calmly wait for them to sort you out. Unless you’re on some Most Wanted list it usually will, but you don’t need to go ballistic. Last minute mobile calls are okay in the plane but do turn your phone off when requested to and good airplane etiquette dictates that you should at least wait for the plane to stop taxiing on the runway before you turn it back on just to tell the person who has come to pick you up that you have arrived.

Exiting the plane should be done in an orderly fashion row by row; there is no prize for the first person to exit the plane. You’ll only end up waiting for your luggage on the baggage carousel or standing in line in customs just like the rest of us you shoved aside or if back in Kenya sitting in traffic I promise!