When one thinks “movie awards event”, one would automatically revert to the American Oscars, which have become synonymous with some serious pomp and circumstance, and not to mention class. Here's their 10 point review of the event.
1. LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION
No offense to the very lovely Ole Sereni, but let’s face it; Mombasa Road on a Friday evening is a nightmare! Granted, any road on a Friday evening especially when it is end month, is a nightmare. I still think that Sankara, or Crowne Plaza would have been more befitting to this event. Centralization of location is critical! Plus the above two hotels to me are the most synonymous with glamour and class within the city limits. They both have ample, secure and TARMACKED parking as well. Everyone got there pretty haggard and in a foul mood from combating City Hoppas and Matatus in traffic. And everyone was LATE.
2. HALF A RED CARPET IS NO RED CARPET
The red carpet was the shortest one that I have seen, of any VIP event I attended. The organizers would have done well to extend it right from the beginning of the walkway, all the way to the lobby entrance. The media were also nowhere in sight! I counted a mere three photographers! I have been to an A List concert with more media that the AMAA nominations! The ladies will understand me on this one. The parking lot at Ole Sereni is fine gravel. By the time you parked your car and made it to the red carpet, you had more likely than not gathered a fine layer of dust on your feet, and caused serious injury to your fabulous heels! Sigh…. I had to formally apologize to my shoes for the grave injury I caused them!
3. BASIC CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I had paid KES 10,000.00 I would have at least expected to find complimentary bottles of water on the table. It took quite a while to actually flag down a waiter and get a simple bottle of water. To add insult to injury, it was a cash bar! A glass of wine was KES 1500.00. A bottle of Bellingham’s Cabernet Sauvignon at Nakumatt is KES 1440.00 give or take. Now why would I willingly pay a similar amount for a glass of cask Drostdyhof wine? This was blatant daylight robbery, and a complete disregard of good service. Granted, there was some complimentary Baileys and Johnny Walker Black from EABL who was a partial sponsor of the event. But I can assure you that only 2 hours into the event, they had completely “run out” of both. And we all know what “run out of” actually translates to: the rest of the bottles were in someone’s boot, house, or hotel room!
4. AFRICAN TIMING
The saying “T.I.A.”: which stands for This Is Africa, has never been truer than on this balmy Friday night. This event that was pegged to begin at 6pm, which based on the location was a virtual impossibility, actually began closer to 10.00 pm. We actually had time to go upstairs to the REAL bar, that had REAL bar prices, have a drink, relax, come back downstairs, freshen up, take photos, mingle, sit down, update our Facebook and Twitter accounts, check email, call mum, make plans for the rest of the weekend, update Facebook again, Tweet about the fashion faux pas witnessed, and the event still had not began! The MCs started without a majority of the celebrities being there. The likes of Noah Ramsey and Rita Dominic came in much later. People’s attention span was short, and no one was listening to the MC due to a decided lack of coordination of the event, not to mention the rumbling stomachs, because there was no soup, bread or salad in sight even as late as 10.30 pm!
5. CATERING 101
Anyone who has any Catering 101 experience can tell you this:
- Never serve the soup at the buffet line! It makes more sense to serve the soup while your guests are seated. The tables were already set up after all. Can you imagine balancing a soup bowl, a plate of food, and a dessert plate, all the while trying not to trip over your fabulous swanky gown? It is a nightmare!
- Secondly, everyone knows that you should make a buffet line double sided to speed up service and keep the queues short. This was not the case. Each buffet line only had service on one side. All they had to do was push the tables forward and add serving spoons on the other side, and bam! The speed of service goes up!
6. “YOU CAN PAY FOR SCHOOL BUT YOU CAN’T BUY CLASS!”
Jay Z said it, I believe it! This event was about movies. But the nominees were announced using a projector and a PowerPoint presentation. I think that is hilariously ironic! I do not think that it would have been that difficult to get a flat screen set up and arrange to show clips of the movies that have been nominated, as well as the actors, actresses, directors, producers, and others. I think I even noted the Times New Roman 12 font on the PowerPoint. I mean I had no choice but to laugh out loud!
How can you have plastic center pieces with humongous peacock feathers as your center pieces? I mean these things were a sight to behold! And not in a good way! We actually took photos like people did back in the day, where you pose looking like you’re holding KICC, or you are at Uhuru Park holding a sunflower. I mean it was just plain tacky. Oh the horror! What made it worse was a passing comment that I heard, about plastic center pieces being the “future of décor”. Ughhh! I thought I was going to pass out from grief! Next time, dear AMAA organizer, if you’re stumped for ideas, a fishbowl with colored water and beautiful floating petals or flowers, with tea light candles on the table (also notably absent) would do the trick. Ps: the feathers did a good job of obstructing our view.
7. DRESS CODE! ENFORCE IT!
At the risk of being seemingly mean, it is high time Kenyans started enforcing dress code and adhering to it. Sadly, it is our men who seem to have lost the plan. At least I know the ladies came looking fabulous, with the exception of some fashion faux pas that shall be discussed at some other time. I saw men in jeans, for crying out loud! Sigh…. It is very sad. If you actually want your event to be taken seriously, as a top tier event, then it is important that you enforce the dress code. Only then will you be able to set yourself apart from other events and event planners, by setting the correct impression. After all, image is everything in showbiz!
8. AN MC IS THE LIFE OR DEATH OF A PARTY
That was the most boring MC ever! I tried to listen to him, but the rambling went on and on, and without much food in the system, it was impossible for me to focus. I think my rumbling stomach, in a symphony of other rumbling stomachs may have drowned him out. Emceeing is one of the most important jobs for a successful event. The crowd gave him no air time. He might as well have been my Form 2 Biology teacher, who used to walk in, and I mentally check out.
9. GOODIE BAGS… OR WERE THEY BADDIE BAGS?
As an invited guest, would probably have had to get one to actually have a discussion about the goody bags. If you had planned for it, how is it that invited guests (almost a whole table) could not find any to save their lives? This takes me back to the KES 10,000.00 cover. I would have been a very unhappy camper to have paid this amount, and leave even without a token of appreciation, especially if I had actually paid KES 1500.00 for a glass of wine. Don’t you think?
10. ATTITUDE… THE RIGHT ONE!
As an event planner and host, it is important to be accessible and WARM. Not cold, and aloof. You are in the business of people, and not events. It is people who attend your events. Taking time to courteously acknowledge guests is important. They are after all your bread and butter. And believe it or not, you need them, more than they need you. Some of them did in the end fork up the whooping KES 10,000.00 didn’t they?
Now it is important to note that when the event began, each table did receive one bottle of red wine. This was pretty okay. And lucky for us, not everyone on the table wanted a glass; otherwise we were all looking at roughly half a glass of wine each, at which point we would have to fork up the KES 1500.00 for an additional glass. As you can tell, I was unimpressed by the beverage price list.
The celebrities who attended the show were mostly warm and gracious, Rita Dominic above all. The band “The Villagers” was spectacular, and reduced the impact of the above mishaps. DJ Adrian on the Ones and Twos was also pretty cool, and Ole Sereni’s buffet wasn’t too bad either.
The overall moral of the story is that high expectations were set for this event, and sadly it ended up being another case of over promising and under delivering, which is the true bane of our existence within our society.
Looking glamorous in white - when at a glitzy event, go all out to impress
Can you spot the Kenyan?
That centre piece
Your thoughts?
Totally hilarious. Is this the true Kenyan scene?
ReplyDeleteThat is why we have you Derek!Tell them off.