Ok gentlemen, it’s officially a new decade and it’s time we pulled up our socks (literally) when it comes to dressing. My co-conspirator on the Fashion Show and editor of Drum Magazine, Carol Odero wrote an article on her weekly column chastising men in Kenya for their wardrobe choices and I have to say she was spot on. I don’t think most Kenyan men necessarily prioritize dressing. In fact just Google ‘best dressed men + Kenya’ and you will find a dearth of information or lists. Some of the common dress faux pas I regularly see include: wearing clothes that are too big, too short ties (top of the belt buckle please), tags on jacket sleeves, white socks with leather shoes, branded polo shirts, matching pocket handkerchief and tie combo’s, and watches so large they swallow your wrist. And a special dishonorable mention must go to that long nail on the finger – enough said!
You know being a man of a certain age and disposition, my nights out are few and far between, but last weekend, I put on my party shoes and revived the days of my misspent youth by doing a club crawl. Most of the girls were predictably wearing their uniform of skinny jeans, heels and tops. That’s a blog post for another day but I won’t be giving any demerits to the fairer sex for they may have been predictable for a night out on the town but they put in a little effort. As for my fellow gentlemen (and I use that word loosely sartorially speaking), to put it mildly I was disappointed. It was a sea of baggy t-shirts, sagging jeans, baseball caps, sneakers and even shorts and mandals (male sandals). And this was irrespective of age or venue. I may have been off the scene for sometime, but what happened to bouncers enforcing dress codes - and did I miss that memo that said anything goes?
Gentlemen, if you are no longer in school or college, start dressing like an adult when going out. I know it is particularly challenging during this warm weather to look stylish and dress comfortably at the same time but evenings can get a little chilly so try wearing a blazer or jacket for one. You can throw that over a pair of slim dark jeans and keep the sneakers but at least you’ll look a lot less than you’re starring in your own rap video. In my humble opinion men should never expose their toes in public unless there’s sand between them tootsies. Khakis and corduroys are a great alternative to jeans – just make sure they are cut on the slimmer side.
Guess what guys, a recent survey (admittedly done in America, but still relevant I believe to us here in Kenya) reported that 87% of women in relationships would be willing to sacrifice something (going out to dinner, cell phone, vacation days, etc.) to have a better-dressed partner. The same survey reported 85% of women "think a guy who dresses well is sexier than one who has a lot of money," 78% of women "believe dressing well is one of the hottest things a guy can do" and 64% believe that "women are more likely to marry a well-dressed man than one who isn't as well put together." See the full results of the survey here
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Put down the croissant and get networking
I attended a networking breakfast earlier this week. While it should be fun, do remember that you are there representing both yourself and your company, and therefore are always ‘on show.’ At my table were two international visitors and a smattering of us natives made up the rest of the numbers. I don’t know whether people were still on holiday mode or brains were still woolly with the excesses imbibed over the past few weeks but conversation was awkward and stilted. It was literally heads down, everyone stuffing themselves with treats from the breakfast buffet.
“Keep hope alive” was Reverend Jesse Jackson’s rallying cry – how about “Keep the conversation alive!” How do you stave off the dreaded dead silence when no-one has anything to say? Well, show more than just a passing interest in your companions. Try to find similarities or joint interests by asking open ended questions. Networking is not all about you and your business but if your mindset is how you can help the other person, then this will build lasting relationships which eventually will lead to business.
When it comes to conversation, I am all for finding common points of interest but does every Brit visiting our country have to be asked to declare what football team they support? A brief mention that you are a football fan will let people know that you have a life other than work, but not a full scale inquisition into the current state of Liverpool FC. That and politics, enough already about the Hague – everyone is entitled to their opinion but don’t shove it down your neighbours throat. Doing a little bit of research before the event allows you to bring up topics that are interesting, not necessarily impassioned, but at least you can come across as someone with perceptible social skills. At the very least plan a few conversation starters to get the other person talking about themselves. Remember to talk to the person on your left as well as your right no matter how fetching the lady might look in comparison to your other companions. And try as much as possible to include others in conversation especially the naturally shy people so that they don’t feel left out.
I also do that thing where if I line up the business cards I receive on the table in front of me so that I can easily remember names and job titles. Also when it comes to conversation the way that you say something also makes people remember and take notice. The way you use your voice is meaningful if you want to make a positive and hopefully sophisticated impression.
A quick word on non – verbal communication. Research has found that we make major decisions about one another – assessing credibility, friendliness, trustworthiness, confidence, power, status, and competence – within the first few seconds of meeting. In a business setting, these first impressions are crucial. Once someone mentally labels you as “likeable” or “un-likeable,” “powerful” or “submissive,” everything else you do will be viewed through that filter. If someone likes you, they’ll look for the best in you. Be confident, hold your head high and let your natural charisma, charm and presence come through in your communication and you’ll be well on the way to becoming a master networker.
“Keep hope alive” was Reverend Jesse Jackson’s rallying cry – how about “Keep the conversation alive!” How do you stave off the dreaded dead silence when no-one has anything to say? Well, show more than just a passing interest in your companions. Try to find similarities or joint interests by asking open ended questions. Networking is not all about you and your business but if your mindset is how you can help the other person, then this will build lasting relationships which eventually will lead to business.
When it comes to conversation, I am all for finding common points of interest but does every Brit visiting our country have to be asked to declare what football team they support? A brief mention that you are a football fan will let people know that you have a life other than work, but not a full scale inquisition into the current state of Liverpool FC. That and politics, enough already about the Hague – everyone is entitled to their opinion but don’t shove it down your neighbours throat. Doing a little bit of research before the event allows you to bring up topics that are interesting, not necessarily impassioned, but at least you can come across as someone with perceptible social skills. At the very least plan a few conversation starters to get the other person talking about themselves. Remember to talk to the person on your left as well as your right no matter how fetching the lady might look in comparison to your other companions. And try as much as possible to include others in conversation especially the naturally shy people so that they don’t feel left out.
I also do that thing where if I line up the business cards I receive on the table in front of me so that I can easily remember names and job titles. Also when it comes to conversation the way that you say something also makes people remember and take notice. The way you use your voice is meaningful if you want to make a positive and hopefully sophisticated impression.
A quick word on non – verbal communication. Research has found that we make major decisions about one another – assessing credibility, friendliness, trustworthiness, confidence, power, status, and competence – within the first few seconds of meeting. In a business setting, these first impressions are crucial. Once someone mentally labels you as “likeable” or “un-likeable,” “powerful” or “submissive,” everything else you do will be viewed through that filter. If someone likes you, they’ll look for the best in you. Be confident, hold your head high and let your natural charisma, charm and presence come through in your communication and you’ll be well on the way to becoming a master networker.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Positively 2011
Welcome to 2011, I enjoyed the peace and quiet of the holidays which gave me an opportunity to reflect on the year that passed and going forward what I hope for in 2011. I’m not one for bandying resolutions about but I thought a few words on positivity might be in order as much for me, as for anyone else. A positive image starts the minute you get up in the morning, and it is as likely a matter of attitude as anything else. The way you react to other people builds up an image. Try and think of the effect your actions and reactions will have on others. Show that you care, not only about yourself, but other people. We are all human beings living in society together and life is a compromise. We have to show respect for others, which in turn brings respect for ourselves. To get your new year off with the right frame of mind here is an inspirational video on positive thinking from a man who seems to have it all - Will Smith.
Enjoy
Enjoy
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