Put down the croissant and get networking

I attended a networking breakfast earlier this week. While it should be fun, do remember that you are there representing both yourself and your company, and therefore are always ‘on show.’ At my table were two international visitors and a smattering of us natives made up the rest of the numbers. I don’t know whether people were still on holiday mode or brains were still woolly with the excesses imbibed over the past few weeks but conversation was awkward and stilted. It was literally heads down, everyone stuffing themselves with treats from the breakfast buffet.

“Keep hope alive” was Reverend Jesse Jackson’s rallying cry – how about “Keep the conversation alive!” How do you stave off the dreaded dead silence when no-one has anything to say? Well, show more than just a passing interest in your companions. Try to find similarities or joint interests by asking open ended questions. Networking is not all about you and your business but if your mindset is how you can help the other person, then this will build lasting relationships which eventually will lead to business.

When it comes to conversation, I am all for finding common points of interest but does every Brit visiting our country have to be asked to declare what football team they support? A brief mention that you are a football fan will let people know that you have a life other than work, but not a full scale inquisition into the current state of Liverpool FC. That and politics, enough already about the Hague – everyone is entitled to their opinion but don’t shove it down your neighbours throat. Doing a little bit of research before the event allows you to bring up topics that are interesting, not necessarily impassioned, but at least you can come across as someone with perceptible social skills. At the very least plan a few conversation starters to get the other person talking about themselves. Remember to talk to the person on your left as well as your right no matter how fetching the lady might look in comparison to your other companions. And try as much as possible to include others in conversation especially the naturally shy people so that they don’t feel left out.
I also do that thing where if I line up the business cards I receive on the table in front of me so that I can easily remember names and job titles. Also when it comes to conversation the way that you say something also makes people remember and take notice. The way you use your voice is meaningful if you want to make a positive and hopefully sophisticated impression.

A quick word on non – verbal communication. Research has found that we make major decisions about one another – assessing credibility, friendliness, trustworthiness, confidence, power, status, and competence – within the first few seconds of meeting. In a business setting, these first impressions are crucial. Once someone mentally labels you as “likeable” or “un-likeable,” “powerful” or “submissive,” everything else you do will be viewed through that filter. If someone likes you, they’ll look for the best in you. Be confident, hold your head high and let your natural charisma, charm and presence come through in your communication and you’ll be well on the way to becoming a master networker.