Is there a style manual for men out there?

Ok gentlemen, it’s officially a new decade and it’s time we pulled up our socks (literally) when it comes to dressing. My co-conspirator on the Fashion Show and editor of Drum Magazine, Carol Odero wrote an article on her weekly column chastising men in Kenya for their wardrobe choices and I have to say she was spot on. I don’t think most Kenyan men necessarily prioritize dressing. In fact just Google ‘best dressed men + Kenya’ and you will find a dearth of information or lists. Some of the common dress faux pas I regularly see include: wearing clothes that are too big, too short ties (top of the belt buckle please), tags on jacket sleeves, white socks with leather shoes, branded polo shirts, matching pocket handkerchief and tie combo’s, and watches so large they swallow your wrist. And a special dishonorable mention must go to that long nail on the finger – enough said!

You know being a man of a certain age and disposition, my nights out are few and far between, but last weekend, I put on my party shoes and revived the days of my misspent youth by doing a club crawl. Most of the girls were predictably wearing their uniform of skinny jeans, heels and tops. That’s a blog post for another day but I won’t be giving any demerits to the fairer sex for they may have been predictable for a night out on the town but they put in a little effort. As for my fellow gentlemen (and I use that word loosely sartorially speaking), to put it mildly I was disappointed. It was a sea of baggy t-shirts, sagging jeans, baseball caps, sneakers and even shorts and mandals (male sandals). And this was irrespective of age or venue. I may have been off the scene for sometime, but what happened to bouncers enforcing dress codes - and did I miss that memo that said anything goes?

Gentlemen, if you are no longer in school or college, start dressing like an adult when going out. I know it is particularly challenging during this warm weather to look stylish and dress comfortably at the same time but evenings can get a little chilly so try wearing a blazer or jacket for one. You can throw that over a pair of slim dark jeans and keep the sneakers but at least you’ll look a lot less than you’re starring in your own rap video. In my humble opinion men should never expose their toes in public unless there’s sand between them tootsies. Khakis and corduroys are a great alternative to jeans – just make sure they are cut on the slimmer side.

Guess what guys, a recent survey (admittedly done in America, but still relevant I believe to us here in Kenya) reported that 87% of women in relationships would be willing to sacrifice something (going out to dinner, cell phone, vacation days, etc.) to have a better-dressed partner. The same survey reported 85% of women "think a guy who dresses well is sexier than one who has a lot of money," 78% of women "believe dressing well is one of the hottest things a guy can do" and 64% believe that "women are more likely to marry a well-dressed man than one who isn't as well put together." See the full results of the survey here

Put down the croissant and get networking

I attended a networking breakfast earlier this week. While it should be fun, do remember that you are there representing both yourself and your company, and therefore are always ‘on show.’ At my table were two international visitors and a smattering of us natives made up the rest of the numbers. I don’t know whether people were still on holiday mode or brains were still woolly with the excesses imbibed over the past few weeks but conversation was awkward and stilted. It was literally heads down, everyone stuffing themselves with treats from the breakfast buffet.

“Keep hope alive” was Reverend Jesse Jackson’s rallying cry – how about “Keep the conversation alive!” How do you stave off the dreaded dead silence when no-one has anything to say? Well, show more than just a passing interest in your companions. Try to find similarities or joint interests by asking open ended questions. Networking is not all about you and your business but if your mindset is how you can help the other person, then this will build lasting relationships which eventually will lead to business.

When it comes to conversation, I am all for finding common points of interest but does every Brit visiting our country have to be asked to declare what football team they support? A brief mention that you are a football fan will let people know that you have a life other than work, but not a full scale inquisition into the current state of Liverpool FC. That and politics, enough already about the Hague – everyone is entitled to their opinion but don’t shove it down your neighbours throat. Doing a little bit of research before the event allows you to bring up topics that are interesting, not necessarily impassioned, but at least you can come across as someone with perceptible social skills. At the very least plan a few conversation starters to get the other person talking about themselves. Remember to talk to the person on your left as well as your right no matter how fetching the lady might look in comparison to your other companions. And try as much as possible to include others in conversation especially the naturally shy people so that they don’t feel left out.
I also do that thing where if I line up the business cards I receive on the table in front of me so that I can easily remember names and job titles. Also when it comes to conversation the way that you say something also makes people remember and take notice. The way you use your voice is meaningful if you want to make a positive and hopefully sophisticated impression.

A quick word on non – verbal communication. Research has found that we make major decisions about one another – assessing credibility, friendliness, trustworthiness, confidence, power, status, and competence – within the first few seconds of meeting. In a business setting, these first impressions are crucial. Once someone mentally labels you as “likeable” or “un-likeable,” “powerful” or “submissive,” everything else you do will be viewed through that filter. If someone likes you, they’ll look for the best in you. Be confident, hold your head high and let your natural charisma, charm and presence come through in your communication and you’ll be well on the way to becoming a master networker.

Positively 2011

Welcome to 2011, I enjoyed the peace and quiet of the holidays which gave me an opportunity to reflect on the year that passed and going forward what I hope for in 2011. I’m not one for bandying resolutions about but I thought a few words on positivity might be in order as much for me, as for anyone else. A positive image starts the minute you get up in the morning, and it is as likely a matter of attitude as anything else. The way you react to other people builds up an image. Try and think of the effect your actions and reactions will have on others. Show that you care, not only about yourself, but other people. We are all human beings living in society together and life is a compromise. We have to show respect for others, which in turn brings respect for ourselves. To get your new year off with the right frame of mind here is an inspirational video on positive thinking from a man who seems to have it all - Will Smith.
Enjoy

Personal Branding - what do people say about you?

Someone once said we are all an 'Organization of One.' In terms of their product could you describe Safaricom, Equity Bank, Coca Cola or Toyota? But if I asked you to describe yourself in three words or less what you say – more importantly what would others say about you? Just like the well known companies I’ve just mentioned, we all have a personal brand. Did you know the quickest way of finding out your personal brand is to find out what people say about you behind your back! Did you also know that whether you’re a doctor, a designer, a DJ or a delivery guy – you’re all in sales and the product you selling is you. Yes – you’re the product, the message and the billboard all wrapped in one. Organizations will spend buckets of cash on company branding but personal branding of staff usually get short thrift. It’s not until you lose that contract or fail to get the promotion and when that failure is examined in the 20-20 vision that is hindsight that people come to grips with the fact that there may be something to this personal branding business after all. So what goes into developing your personal brand? It’s all the things I’ve been banging on about all year – your image, style, online presence, body language, non-verbal communication, the clothes you wear, manners, handshake, etc. Once you have built that powerful personal brand please do your utmost to protect it by being consistent. You can’t be a paragon of excellent business etiquette between 9-5 and then be crawling on your hands and knees at 11pm at night completely soused. Also be consistent in your communication of your personal brand to the world whether it’s through regular networking or meaningful tweets or blog posts. In a hyper competitive world going into 2011 it is incumbent to do an objective personal branding assessment of ourselves and see whether we seriously reflect on the outside the image we have of ourselves on the inside. Remember you can control the image other people have of you.

Talking of branding, Kenya took another hit yesterday as we made the headlines of virtually all the major international media outlets for all the wrong reasons. Someone somewhere needs to do some serious damage limitation and our successes as a nation MUST be communicated. On the other hand, we recently did get some positive international exposure through CNN Hero Evans Wadongo. Even I can’t quibble about the do’s and don’ts of smothering a celebrity (Halle Berry) in front of millions of people – suffice it to say good for you my man!

How to party like it's 2010

Not many things are as eagerly anticipated as the end of year office party. This is the one time you’ll want to go all out to thank your employees for a job well done, so the event should provide real value for money as well as a good time for all concerned. In fact, the end of year office bash is also a very good way of saying thank you to customers, clients and suppliers, but it is surprising how many businesses don’t make the most of what should be a good opportunity for networking, for cementing existing relationships and forging new ones.

If guests have been invited, it is a good idea to make certain that the staff are given information on the people coming so that they can open conversations and introduce them to other guests. There is nothing more cringe-worthy than a visiting MD being asked, “So what department do you work in?” Also it is vital that employees don’t just huddle together in a corner or only talk to the clients they know well. Even the end of year bash is a business party first and a social event second, and the whole point is to get to know new people, so they should all circulate! However it is a party so they shouldn’t just talk shop, although talking about sex or money is generally considered crass. Politics should also be avoided because of the impassioned opinions it usually brings forth even if avoiding this may be difficult in our current climate. I’ll also add football to this list as Kenyans have taken to English footie in such a fashion that supporting a rival club can sometimes result in grievous bodily harm.

If you wish to get a little amorous with a co-worker remember you are on show to everyone at the party and you don’t want to do anything you’ll regret later on or fodder for gossip. Keep your hands to yourself and stick to being friendly and professional on the night. Whilst it is essential to provide plenty of food and drink – too much drink can cause problems. In the words of one expert, "Alcohol should supplement the party, complement your party, but never dominate your party! In fact it is a good idea to alternate alcoholic drinks with glasses of water and pace yourself. You can always hit your local afterwards for a stronger nightcap. And whatever you do as the host, don't ever encourage people to get drunk! Also don’t be that guy closing the party at 4am in the morning when the cleaners are coming in. By midnight you should have had your fun, call it a night or take the party elsewhere. And regardless of how many vodka tonics you had the previous night, if the following day is a work day you still need to show up.


There may very well be a dress code but in the end it is up to each individual to decide what sort of an impression they want to make and what sort of company image they wish to project. But it is as well to remember that notwithstanding the free flowing alcohol it is a company event. If Black Tie is not specified then a suit with a tie for men and a smart, elegant outfit for ladies should suffice. This is the time you can dress up and put on the glitz if you feel like it, but again, it is best not to go over the top. The rule of thumb for the ladies says it is best not to flash too much flesh.

If you are ‘the boss’ then you cannot afford to be the life and soul of the office party. In a small business where everyone works together and there is no real hierarchy ‘the boss’ will usually mingle easily with everybody. If, on the other hand the organisation is large and most of the directors don’t have day to day dealings with their staff, it can be quite inhibiting if the CEO comes to the party as people might feel they should be on their best behaviour. In that case the CEO and other board members should put in an appearance at the beginning of the evening but not linger too long so that the other employees can enjoy themselves. If staff are allowed to bring partners to the party, this can be tough on some husbands and wives, as they can feel quite left out if the conversation is continually about office politics or gossip. If they are invited, it is up to their partners who work there to look after them and introduce them to other members of staff and make sure they are not left out. Hey, ever seen that episode of “The Office” where David Brent does his boogie? By all means cut loose on the dance floor but don’t create a spectacle!

Speaking to Lead

Someone famous once said – the only reason to give a speech is to change the world. Last Friday I sat and watched several different speeches back to back during the opening of the Global Peace Festival. This was an excellent opportunity for me to compare and contrast the speaking styles of the top echelon of our political leadership. Here are some of my brief observations about the President. I’ll write in detail about Raila and Kalonzo in a later posting.

The President unfortunately has much room for improvement when it comes to public speaking. Speaking should create a communication experience for the audience – they should be inspired and unfortunately I can’t remember the last time he did this. Let’s start with the content of many of the speeches. Even as his presidency is in it’s twilight, I would start by dropping the person or persons who writes them, they are deadly dull. Now to be fair when you are giving speech after speech in different locations every day it may be difficult to have input in the speeches but you have to own a speech to be able to deliver it well. Being handed note cards minutes before you go on stage will not an inspirational speech make.

Obama has a team of well paid writers crafting his speeches yet he will change the speeches himself and also have plenty of input in the final product. How can you have the time to do this if you have to give a speech every day and run a country at the same time? Well this brings up the issue of over exposure. I think the President gives way too many speeches diminishing the impact that any number of them make and also limiting his contribution to make the speeches his own. For any leader giving a speech is an opportunity to articulate a vision or initiative the government is undertaking like fighting graft or building the economy. Anytime you speak as a leader regardless of whether you are opening a conference or speaking to newly graduated policemen that is an opportunity for you to get your message across and show leadership qualities with the masses. So it is imperative that this communication is done well. Because of his over-reliance on his note cards and poor body language i.e. no eye contact nor natural hand gestures, monotone voice delivery, no smiling or facial expressions to match the message there is no ‘emotional investment’ in what he is saying and as the audience it is difficult to buy into what he is selling us.

Kibaki is at his most natural when he is speaking extemporaneously or off-the-cuff. Here we see the energy, the smile, gestures, eye contact – all the things that make us want to listen to him. On the downside he doesn’t come across as very statesman-like sometimes due to the language and the unsophisticated way of putting certain points across (pumbavu, fellows should be killed?). The best speech I can remember Kibaki giving was his inauguration speech in December 2002. I got the following from the transcript - when was the last time you heard the President say ‘Look around you, see what a gorgeous constellation of stars we are, just look at this dazzling mosaic of people’ or this paragraph ‘I was woken up this morning by rays of sunlight, which had bathed my room in such brilliance that it felt completely new. I looked far into the horizon and the beauty of what I saw around me stirred my soul. It was as if I was standing atop Mount Kenya surveying the landscape. I said to myself "Oh, what a beautiful country!" They need to resuscitate that speech writer wherever he or she is! See the two examples below of the contrasting styles of the President speaking

On another note – I hope there is some bright eyed, bushy tailed advertising exec who is busy putting together an ad campaign to sell Kenya on the back of Prince Will's engagement to Waity Katy – something along the lines of ‘Visit Kenya the land of royal proposals’

Is there life after death by PowerPoint?

What are your feelings when you are about to sit through another PowerPoint presentation? Let me throw some stats at you - did you know a staggering 30 million PowerPoint presentations are made every day. A study calculates the cost of meaningless PowerPoint presentations at about $252 million each day. Max Atkinson a UK based communications consultant in an attempt to work out how much boring presentations were costing the UK economy alone, came up with the figure of £7.8 billion a year. According to Atkinson, "The modern business presentation has lost its way. Every day, thousands of people are attending presentations, from which they are getting little or no benefit. Companies seem agreed that the customer is always right, but when it comes to presentations they don't seem to realise that the audience is the only customer that matters.

With public speaking skills increasingly diminishing, PowerPoint has become the default way of communicating to a large audience where it is easy to do a data dump and throw everything into a pre-designed slide template and then read it back verbatim at a sales meeting. And we the people are conditioned to sit in the dark and watch dense slide after dense slide.

Last week, I worked with an organization training them on their PowerPoint presentations for a big conference that their top guns are going to present at. My five big points were EYE CONTACT with the audience, REDUCE or eliminate bullets, MORE pictures and LESS text, ENTHUSIASM when presenting and PRACTICE!

Watch this pretty funny take on bad PowerPoint